|
For the past few days, I've been quite the hermit. Although I don't lock myself up in my house on the weekends and exclude myself from everything and everyone, I still feel like I have no social life. It's not because I study more and work harder at school even though that's true. But I've been losing so many "friends". I can probably tell you the reason, but I just prefer not to. These "friends" of mine are people that I trusted with my secrets, my hopes, and my dreams. I've cried with them, laughed with them, prayed with them. Now we don't even talk. I mean, we talk. But we don't talk. If you know what I mean.
Someone once told me, "If your friends stop being friends, they weren't true friends to begin with." So all those people haven't been my "true friends" to begin with? That's crazy. I mean, there's at least some truth to it, but I don't completely agree with it. I believe the friends I lost were true friends. It's just that, to me, they aren't anymore. I admit, it's not their fault. Not entirely. It's partially my fault that I did almost nothing to stop it. But what else could I have done? If only I could express why I didn't try harder than I did, then this would all probably make sense to the reader... to you.
On a side note, I want to thank you-- the reader, my audience. I'm basically just spilling everything out at you. Most likely, people don't read my livejournal, which is why I'm updating here rather than making a new xanga entry or a new myspace blog. So it really feels a lot more intimate, don't you think?? :)
So for the past few days, for about maybe a week or so, I've been playing the guitar a lot. Sometimes I would spend hours and hours just sitting there, strumming, plucking, and singing (a little more like screeching) out praise songs to our wonderful and amazing God. Why, you ask? Why praise God in the midst of all this... poopie going on in my life? Well, for one, because God took away some friends of mine, He made me realize who my true friends really are. He opened my eyes and let me know who I can really depend on or who's only there just for the sake of "being there".
But there's more to it than that. But I'll end for now. Math homework and vocabulary quizzes and science tests are calling to me.
So I conclude my first real entry in my livejournal
and end
with this:
Buy the new This Providence CD
and let me borrow it. Forever.
--Angie :)
|